i don't wanna grow up...it sucks

so i have finished my first week of "part-time" employment, and frankly i don't know how the hell y'all do this all day, every day, every week. there was about 5 times (roughly once a day for those of you adept at math...not long division, just arithmetic) where i only wished i'd brought a spork with me in my purse to pluck out my eyes and be done with this whole "lawyer" portion of my life.

my typical day looks something like this: get up, get dressed, look in the mirror and see a grown up staring back at me, secretly freak out at how i'm getting older, go to work, exchange nonentities with my assistant who seems incapable of grasping that just because i nominally work 4 hours a day doesn't mean that i get to run away at 12:30, realize that i don't know how to send people e-mail, walk to people's offices where they tell me they are too busy to teach me how to do administrative things like...um...bill my hours, get bad coffee, try to research issues on westlaw whilst cursing my dependence on and love for lexis, find nothing, have a panic attack, get coffee, get back on westlaw, curse under my breath, get coffee, meet with partners/senior associates and reveal my ignorance and my inability to communicate any ideas with out prefacing them with "um" or "like," get coffee, try to leave office at 1 PM like my daily schedule says, get assigned projects i don't understand with a turn around time of 30 minutes when i should've left 30 minutes ago, fesearch some stuff that may or may not be applicable, go to see the a-hole who assigned this project to me, realize that he's gone, drop my research on his chair, try to send him an e-mail and realize that i can't, throw out coffee, go home cursing the day i ever decided i should go to law school and then sit down to learn about commercial paper.

i'd ask y'all to tell me it gets better, but rumor has it that it takes 2 years to stop feeling idiotic at work. great. 2 years of limbo only to find out that i'll never get to heaven...i'm going straight to hell.